first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize