I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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