I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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