Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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