Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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