Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
