So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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