You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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