I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
