I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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