There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
