If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Your cock deserves a montage
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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