The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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