come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
