Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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