I faked an abortion last night.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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