You don't have asthma, your pregnant
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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