this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
