WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
