u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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