Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
