In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
