I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
