I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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