my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
