dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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