Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
