she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
