in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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