After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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