Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize