i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
