Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
ttyl tear gas
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
