You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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