Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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