I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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