Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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