Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize