she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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