Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I would ride that face into the sunset
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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