Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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