was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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