Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
