So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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