please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
As shirtless as possible
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
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Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize