we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
