Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
