I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
