i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
