he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
