i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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