Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
