if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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