what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
