apparently the secret to your success is patron
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
