allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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