He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
