I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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