they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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